Sunday, 20 May 2018

The Meaning of Motherhood (and Blush Floral Prints)

Martin and the girls blessed me with such a beautiful Mother's Day. They got me gift vouchers to the spa, and took me out for two different lunches and a gorgeous crepe cake dessert. 

Following Mother's Day, one topic that has been on my mind a lot lately is the meaning of motherhood. You see, I grew up with a stay-at-home mom who dedicated much of her time to domestic duties. She was a pseudo-parent to many of my friends, created lunches for my father that were the envy of all of his co-workers, and home-schooled my brother and I for half of our school years. She was, and is, my Suzie Homemaker, domestic goddess of a mother, and I appreciated every bit of it growing up.

During my couple of years of maternity leave with my girls, I was able to pick up that torch and run with it. My husband has come home, more times than I can count, to me breast-feeding a baby with one arm and mixing a cake with the other. I was never a typical stay-at-home-mom, as I never really stayed at home long, but I loved all of it. I'd get up in the mornings and meet a fellow mama at a cafe, and then spend my afternoons cleaning and organising and being with my daughters. I worked part-time between babies, and thought I would be part-time until both were in school. 

After choosing to return to work full-time when Aurora was a year and a half old, our lives all changed forever. I now cook a couple of times a week instead of every night, play a lot of catch-up on chores on the weekends, and can often be caught falling asleep at my computer when I study at night. 

Honestly, the first 6 months of being full time caused me a lot of heartache. Last year was very difficult anyway, with so many family deaths and hardships, but being away from my babies was especially painful. But about 6 months into being full-time, I finally felt myself adjust. My husband and I found our rhythm, Selene started to understand why mommy was away from home more often, the added finances started to result in the most beautiful weekend outings and I found ways to fit in my baking days with the girls. 

Mostly, though, I made a conscious effort to release the guilt. I am studying a very difficult degree, full-time at night with no assistance, I am working in a high-stress (but ever rewarding) field, I am running a blog. And still I have allowed myself to feel like I am not enough - like I should be playing with them more often, cooking more often, being more patient, organising my time better.. the list goes on. And why? Why do mothers allow ourselves to feel so much guilt? Why, when we are working so hard to provide the best lives we can for our families, be it via being a homemaker or working full-time outside the home. 

Lately, Selene has been watching me when I'm not looking, and making the sweetest comments. "Mommy, you make the best food". "Mommy, you always buy me beautiful dresses". "Mommy, you work really hard". It's as if she knows. 

So, fellow mamas - as the warm and fuzzy feelings leftover from Mother's Day's spoiling starts to fade away, I want you to be kind to yourself. There is no one kind of mother. There is no one kind of family. And there should be no guilt, no shame in the way you choose to parent. You, wherever you are, are doing an astounding job, and your children see - even when they are throwing mashed potatoes on the floor or whining for a new toy or whatever cheeky business they are getting up to that day. They know. 

And the answer to that question, what is motherhood?: it is the self-sacrificing, resilient, sleep-evading, unconditional loving persona in all of us - no matter how you choose to mother.

I am wearing a Blush Floral dress by Stop Staring, which is currently sold out. The same print is available in an equally beautiful dress here. Half of my office wardrobe is made up of Stop Staring dresses, and I have my eye on a few more!

The girls are wearing these gorgeous dresses here by Arabella and Rose! I love their clothing and need to fill their wardrobes with several more of their dresses. 

Thank you so much for reading <3

Miss Betty Doll


1 comment

Blog Design Created by pipdig